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Productive again

Well, I got together with fellow Vintage hair fan Keena hardcoresince3 and shot some Hawaiian themed photos yesterday. She put her hair in lovely rolls (that I failed to capture well on camera). Here's a sneaky peak... I post more later.

Pink Hawaii!Collapse )


Since when am I a "fuck buddy" for honestly truly caring about a person and devoting every last ounce of me to them? If I love someone I believe I'm a bit more than a fuck buddy.

I hate when fucking males talk down on me because I have a vagina... And because I have a vagina the automatically relate to every other female they've had a shitty experience with.

Dec. 22nd, 2007

Blah blah blah. I'm tired of being reclusive.

Two weeks goin fuckin Crazy!

I can't decide weather I should cut off some bangs or not.....

I like my current hair

but I like bangs too.

I like change...

but I dont know if i should do it...

Long time no See

It's been a while since I wrote in here. Not much really has been going on aside from the fact that I got my shit together a bit and will be photographing people more often. I'm really tired right now though and I do not wish to go about writing all down. Maybe later.

Oct. 23rd, 2007

I had an aweful attack last night. Does anyone know any websites with tips and hints and help for people with social anxiety? I really don't want to take meds because my body does not react well to pills. I'd like to find alternative ways aside from drinking...

Assitance please?


Pardon the shitty web-cam quality and the ugly grossness, I JUST got out of work... but here is the photo of my newest piercing.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I'd write an entry after this but I worked 3 days straight and 6-8 hour shifts each day... with no sleep in between. So suck on it. I'm gonna take a nappy-wappy!
I'm such a dreamy mood right now. Getting full sleep almost seems abnormal to me.
I don't know what to say in this thing... Hahah.

Well yesterday I pierced my septum. The piercer was really sweet. He was a friend of Kat's that she met at the bar. So he gave me a good deal. So far so good no infection or horrible pain at all. It wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.

Lately I've had a horrible obsession with Rita Hayworth. I am constantly singing her songs and watching videos of her even collecting photos. blughhh.


I have temporarily or maybe even permanently took down my myspace. I need to get myself figured out and settled. I feel a wave of change coming and right now I can't worry about a dumb Superficial personal profile. The only reason why I've decided to keep my livejournal is because I hold a dear close, strong attachment to it. I like to look back on the past entries and see the great change I have gone through in the past 5 years (soon to be 6 years). I also need something to help me write down and express my thoughts. Keeping a physical book journal is hard for me to do and I cant risk the chance of my mother fiding it and sending me off to some nutty psychologyst.

I really need to focus on getting well, physically, mentally, spiritually. I am constantly battering my body. My health is shit. My sleeping habits are just whacky. As with my eating habits... I eat just one meal a day, my hair is coming out at the root. I am opening myself to people too much. I constantly mix alcohol and sleeping pills... in hopes that I will some how kill myself or on good nights go to sleep early. hahaha. I'm not really ready to let go of the sleeping pills or the alcohol at the moment...I just wont use them together... but I do need to admit that I have an addiction to sleeping pills, and I have gone through my parents, family, and even friends, and strangers medicine cabinets. To find any kind of prescription and nonprescription drugs that make you drowsy. I have stopped this recently. I have a problem being in large groups without some kind of downer. I also don't know how to cope with loneliness so I often find myself drunk because I can feel happy actually being alone. I am really seriously dangerous when I am by myself. I a usually alone too. And so basically 24 hours of the day I am on some kind of mind altering drug. I really need to stop this all because I am going to find myself dead soon.

I need to fix a lot of things before I find myself dead soon.